What the most successful clients have in common
I’ve been doing quite a bit of reflecting lately on my clients, especially the ones who are getting outstanding results. Over the past couple of weeks it's really stood out that those who are creating massive, lasting changes have key things in common.
Let me back up for a minute. At some point in everyone's life they decide it's time to make a change. I'm sure over the course of your life you've had this happen dozens or maybe even hundreds of times. The frequency and force in which these feeling come are different for everyone, but in all cases there are really only two main outcomes, the change was made and remained that way, or the change did not happen or did not last. I realize there are a lot of grey areas involved, but it all really boils down to successful or unsuccessful.
Now please understand, and this is important, unsuccessful IS NOT FAILING. If you're not WINNING you're LEARNING. It all just depends on if you keep going or not.
Let's get down to business, here are the top characteristics successful clients have in common (in no particular order):
1. Even if their current situation isn't their fault, they take full responsibility. There are plenty of situations in this world that are beyond our control, yet once they happen, successful clients take full ownership over what comes next. Fired from your job? It may be due to lay-offs or other such situations, but now it's time to take full responsibility for what happens next. In my own life I was really tested with this when I was faced with extreme, rapid, weight-gain. About five years ago my body begin changing out of the blue and every doctor I went to said the same thing, "you're just getting older." I knew that weighing the same amount my entire life my body wouldn't just gain 30lbs in the matter of a few months without any change to diet or exercise. Gratefully I found a naturopathic doctor who discovered my thyroid had begun malfunctioning. While the condition itself may have happened outside of my awareness, it was up to me to take action and create the changes needed to get my health back on track.
Look at the situation you're in now and decide how you can take responsibility for what comes next.
2. They are disciplined even when they are not motivated. There's a fallacy out there that successful people are just extra motivated. While they may have higher than average motivation (and we'll go into why later), more than anything else they are just really disciplined. Don't want to go to the gym, but want to lose 5lbs? Disciplined clients will go even though they really don't want to. Asked to write down every single meal for a week for your coach? If you're disciplined, you'll make it happen, even if it's inconvenient. If you want to step into a persona that will help move you further along, decide you are disciplined instead of motivated.
3. They focus on their end goal even when faced with a major setback. The clients who are successful aren't always successful on the first try. There are mistakes and missteps just like anyone else. The biggest difference is when those setbacks occur, they shake it off, focus on the end goal, and keep on going. It's ok to take a minute to be frustrated or upset, but if you stay there, you'll never get to the destination you desire. Remember the quote above: "If you're not winning, you're learning." Learn from what went wrong, and keep moving forward. On a positive note, sometimes setbacks are really just directing you to a better path forward. If you decide life is always working out for me, you'll be able to move forward with more confidence.
4. They don't take NO for an answer. Ok, this one is a balance. If what you want to do with your life is something you believe with all of your heart is a wonderful thing for you, don't let anyone tell you differently. I was recently reading an interview Stan Lee gave about Spiderman. Stan - "My publisher said, in his ultimate wisdom, ‘Stan, that is the worst idea I have ever heard,'" Imagine if he had decided that someone else's opinion mattered more than the character that was in his heart. I'm sure there are times and will be times in the future when someone will tell you that your vision is impossible, crazy, never going to work... that's your time to stand up and say "I'm not taking NO for an answer."
5. They have a very strong why behind their decision. Earlier I alluded to some people having stronger motivation than others. This is due to some having stronger why they are doing what they are doing than others. If you take three people with the same goal, let's say to lose 10lbs, but each have a different reason, the motivations can be stronger or weaker. ie Person #1: because they feel like losing a few pounds to feel more comfortable in their clothing, Person #2: because the doctor tells them if they lose 10lbs they can most likely come off their medications, Person #3: if they lose 10lbs they'll have a better chance of conceiving a child they desperately want. The last two people will more likely have stronger motivation behind what they are doing. When you set out to accomplish a new task, really create the strong why it's necessary you complete it. Write it down and post it somewhere visible as a reminder.
6. They are decisive. This is a BIG one. I often see people chasing their own rear-end because they are trying to figure out what the "perfect" situation is, or the "perfect" plan. There is no perfect anything. There is only the opportunity to make a decision and move forward with it. The most successful people are decisive in their decision and move forward with courage and determination. It is easy to try and second guess every move you make, but that will not help you reach your goal. Even if the path isn't perfect, it's moving forward.
and lastly along these same lines....
7. They take messy action. I'm saving the most important to last so I hope you stuck in there with me. It doesn't matter how great your mindset is, how well thought out your plans are, or how perfect your vision for your goal is if you don't take action. I'm not advocating for reckless action, I'm simply telling you that it's more important to go out and make something happen than wait for the plan to be perfect. If you're looking for a new job but never apply to any positions because you're waiting for your resume to be perfect, you'll never get anywhere. The timing will never be perfect, you will never be perfect, but taking any kind of action will help you get closer to your end result. So go ahead and write down three things you will do today to take action. They don't have to be huge, they just have to have purpose.
Well, friends, there it is. The top characteristics that make a successful client. Now really take a look and be honest with yourself, how many of these do you possess? 1? 5? None? Maybe all 7 and you've got this down to a science. Wherever you are on this journey, take this list and see how you can begin improving today. Even if you're not working with a coach, these are life skills that will make you better in your day to day life.
If you are ready to work with someone and you want to learn more about coaching, set up time with me this week and let's have a chat.